Aside from posting beauty facts and product reviews here in my blog, I decided to add some personal touch onto it. I just wanna share some personal raves and rants here; and some experiences too. So, let me share with you my head over heels love affair with my first love: DANCING.
Note: This update may bore you, but at the end I hope you'll find some inspiration and lessons to guide you. So, let me inspire you.. (Promise pang-MMK to!)
When I was six years old, my parents found out that I have an Asthma. The reason why I got so easily tired, sneezing always, and having a difficulty of breathing. This condition makes my life so dull. Prior to this event, I always enjoy myself being with my childhood friends, playing street games. I had an awesome childhood until Asthma takes it away from me :(
This limits me from spending an afternoon play time on the street. I ended up watching cartoon network on TV, having a 'good morning' towel on my back and a handy inhaler at my side always. Until I got bored and the only thing that I do was to watch my friends playing in the street, full of sweat, laughing so hard and having a great time. My Papa probably saw me like this for the whole weekend he's with us. And I know it breaks his heart. I'm Papa's girl btw.
One typical Sunday Morning, my Papa was playing this Non-stop Ballroom, Boogie, Cha Cha songs. When he saw me at the window staring at my friends again, he picked me up like a baby and we dance at the tune of his good old music. I am so happy that day. We dance as if no one's watching. We dance until we are full of sweat. We dance together and laughing so hard. It was the most memorable event of my life. And at the end of the day, I ended up dancing not with my Papa, but with my Nebulizer. Haha. Imagine my Mama scolding Papa for letting me to get tired.
That was the time I fell in love with dancing. Whenever I dance I feel so alive. It enables me to find myself and lose myself at the same time. The time you don't need anyone, it's just you and the music.
So, when I was in Grade School I always joined competitions in dancing and every extracurricular activity that includes dancing, I am always present. My love for dancing grows even more when I learn how to choreograph a simple routine. At the age of 10, I choreograph most of the dance presentations we made at school. It feels so great. Even if at the end of the day I always end up inhaling my Nebulizer. But I don't regret it. The feeling of pain whenever I'm having some difficulty breathing after every rehearsal. It's not a bad pain at all. It was a pain, but now in a good way.
My love for dancing becomes a passion when I entered high school. I immediately joined dance groups and cheer squads. I become too focused in dancing that I forgot to study. I spent the whole day being with my dance crew, I cut classes if necessary just to be with them. When I'm not with them I'm with the cheer squads and vice versa. I fell in love with the crew just like I fell in love with dancing. With them, I am me. The dance crew is my family. But not in my father's opinion.
Papa was not that happy with what I'd do for the past years. My grades fell down, I went home too late, I even went home too drunk. For him, my crew is a bad influence. He insisted that they are just a group that will lead me into trouble. Yeah, in some ways he's right. I learned from them how to drink alcohol, go to left and right parties, spent the day looking for dance battles that will lead to physical battle at the end, and being in a limelight during dance offs. They are a truly bad influence if you'll think of it. But for me, they taught me to get a life that whenever I dance I feel free and alive as if I don't have a condition that shielded me from a real world.
Papa forbade me to dance. I can't believe it. Papa was so supportive in all the things that I do. I was so hurt. The person who introduced dancing to me is the same person who forbids me not to do it. I am strong but with Papa it's not like that all. The feeling of loneliness sets onto me again. Every day, Papa and I ended up arguing about this. He decided to move in Manila (we lived in Cavite this time of event btw.) and sent me to college there. He really wants me out of dancing. Out of my dance crew. Out of being a cheerleader. Out of trouble. Out of my life.
I tell him that I wanna pursue dancing and I wanna be a dance choreographer. He scolded me and told me this..
Dancing is not a profession. It's a hobby.
It broke my heart. I cried hard enough for him to realize that he's taking away the life I used to, that I love to. But it didn't change my father's decision to move in Manila.
So I when in college and studied so hard. For my Papa to show him how much I am so sorry for being so brat that I didn't care for my real family. I didn't give up dancing of course. It runs in my blood that whenever I hear music I dance.
My family went down after a few years. My siblings lost their jobs. My parents lost theirs too. They always argue and leaving each other. We run out of money. We had nothing. Typical problems of a family. So I made a move..
I do some choreographs in exchange of money. I also do online selling for me to earn money to sustain my everyday needs in school. Yeah, dancing took me out from starving. Dancing saved me. Dancing taught me that life isn't about waiting the rain to pass.. It's learning to dance in the rain.
I just want you girls, who patiently read this update, that whatever you want please don't let it pass. Whatever your dreams make it happen. Start working to fulfill your dreams. Otherwise someday, someone will put you in work to work on their own dreams. Just don't let your dreams just be dreams, make it happen! And to fulfill your dreams, someone must lift you off. And I'm lifting you off and inspiring you to do whatever you think you want. Devote yourself to an idea, go make it happen, struggle on it, overcome your fears, smile and don't forget: THIS IS YOUR DREAM. Let them move and let you dream!
My realizations: Dancing allows me to learn my limitations and strengths, my ability to cope with adversity and to get further than I thought I could possibly be.
I am thankful for the opportunity to express the emotions of life through blogging and the art of dancing.
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| One of the few pictures I have. I usually don't take pictures when I'm dancing. My Papa will go gaga again if I do. |
Thank you for your patience for reading this update. I hope I inspire you girls!
Till the next update again.
Thank you again and stay beautiful. Always!
